Sharing a Six-Year Reflection on Being Cancer Free

I am shocked to be writing this post as I reflect back on what the last six years have brought to my life. January of any year is always a dreadful time for me. This is yearly mammogram time. Six years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I never really talked about it. I did not want to be that person, and nor did I want to join the pink ladies club. But recently, getting my mammogram results made me look back and think how I brushed it under the rug for these past years.

The Mammogram

Five and a half years ago, in July, I was scheduled to have my yearly mammogram. Not thinking twice about having a biopsy in my right breast two years prior. I was only excited to be packing up for a two-week vacation to Eleuthera in the Bahamas with my then fiancé and daughter. After receiving a call, a day later from my doctor, at 5:00 p.m., I knew there was something going on. He told me a mass was present, and a nurse would be calling me to schedule a biopsy and come in as soon as possible. Immediately after hanging up the phone, sure enough, the nurse called. I explained to her that I was leaving on a two-week vacation in two days, and I was not coming in before that. She was not happy with me; however, I knew that if I went for the biopsy before I left, I would not be able to enjoy my family or be able to go in the water. I would just worry about the results. I told the nurse I decided to wait to have the biopsy performed when I returned from vacation.

The Call

Upon returning from Eleuthera, I went for a biopsy in my left breast. When the results came a day later, again, my doctor called to inform me that I had Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS). Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) means the cells that line the milk ducts of the breast have become cancer, but they have not spread into surrounding breast tissue. DCIS is often treated because if it is ignored, cells can continue to have abnormal changes that can become invasive breast cancer which can spread. Of course, not really knowing anything about breast cancer, you immediately surf the web to find out any kind of information you can. Treatment, recovery, what is the process for this?

The phone rang, and it was my fiancé (now husband Jamie). He wanted to know if I heard anything from the doctor. Of course, when you get the call, it does not hit you at first. I was fine. But when Jamie called me, I broke down, and he immediately came home from work. Jamie was great, calm, and always so compassionate until we went to bed that night. We lost it, and knew I would have to tell my one and only daughter living in New York City. My driving force for life, for working so hard to provide her with what she needed in life as a single mother since she was three years old. How was I going to tell her?

I made the phone call, and she left the city, left her life there, and returned home. She said I had always been there for her, and now it was my time, she would be there for me.

The Pink Ladies Club

The first meeting with the surgeon was a bit uneasy, and of course, it was Breast Cancer Awareness month, perfect timing, right? After we consulted with the surgeon and her explaining to me what was going to happen next, with the surgery and then radiation, we headed to the nurse’s station to schedule the surgery. Being greeted with all kinds of pink promotional gear, pink pins, pink baseball hats, pink bumper stickers, my reaction is, I do not want any of this stuff, and I am not going to be part of the “pink ladies club” and I am not accepting this or telling the world. Let’s just get it out and move on. Of course, the only people I told was my immediate family and very close friends. I was not posting it all over Facebook or riding around with a pink heart on my car.

Having the lumpectomy was not successful. Having to go back into surgery for a 2nd time, a week later, because they did not get all the cells was stressful. Of course, all of my big fat Greek family showed up at the hospital the first time, and I did not want that. The second time was my mother and sisters, without my knowing.

Perseverance

On top of all this, I had just been accepted into the Boston Design Center’s, Designer on Call program as one of 15 vetted interior designers. When I received the acceptance notice, I did not think twice about committing to the program. As timing would have it, my radiation was starting the same week. Still not telling anyone, I continued to do six weeks of radiation, work at my furniture and design studio, and was able to commit to the Boston Design Center. I do not know how, being tired and drained. This was all happening through the holidays. I spent Thanksgiving afternoon sleeping on my parent’s couch with exhaustion and ending my treatment the week of Christmas.

Reflection On Six Years of Being Cancer Free

Between then and now, I look back at all the beautiful things that have happened as well as the not-so-wonderful. Not wanting to share my cancer story with the world, I find that at six years cancer free, it is finally sunk in as I really never accepted the news. I am grateful that my daughter moved back to New England from being in NYC for 12 years. I am grateful for my wonderful husband, Jamie, that has always been there for me through ten years of being together and going on one year married. I am grateful for the interior design community and all their support in sharing their stories, heartbreaking and joyful times.

Although I know many women have not been so lucky and have had worse, more severe outcomes, I decided it was time to tell my story. This urge to share my cancer story surfaced after hiring a publishing company to help finish the book I have been working on for two years. It is a story of helping women and men realize their passion and mission through hardship, perseverance, and passion. Sharing that a successful career can be had by following your passion and shedding the naysayers.

These are my stories; it is finally time to share and help others who are told they cannot make a life by following their passion.

About Debbe Daley

Debbe Daley is New England’s leading interior design expert in the fields of design, decorating, and styling of interior spaces. She is a professional speaker, educator, influencer and business coach in interior design. She also teaches creative interior design and change-of-career-minded individuals at her School of Interiors. These courses provide mentoring and hands-on training. Debbe is currently an installed Design Services member for the Boston Design Center. She also is an educator and instructor at Middlesex Community College in interior design.

Contact Debbe at ddaley@daleydesigns.com or (978) 697-0288.